The Nanny Diaries: A Little Too Close to Home...
I needed a quick summer read. Just something light and humorous that would kick off summer at the beach or the pool. I went into my local library and they were hosting a book discussion and pot luck dinner for this book on July 27th, so I decided I'd read the book whether I attend or not (jury's still out, but leaning towards showing up). The book was not available, so I bought it at Target.
I loved the way the book was written, it was just the lightening fast summer read I was looking for. On the surface, the book reads superficial and funny. If one really looks, there are a lot of deeper truths here.
For better or worse, I live in a neighborhood where having a nanny (even if it's part time) is pretty much standard issue (I don't have one, never have, never will as I am neither that affluent nor do I care to have someone else parent my children, but don't "judge" everyone who does, as some people legitimately need the help and are not completely "hands off"). Although none of my neighbors rival the wealth, "status" or snoot factor of Mrs. X, many certainly have parents that have "arrived" and they are on their way "up" the ladder too. I've seen the Mrs. X mentality first hand. I've seen children call their mom's the names of their nannies, or mom's being so out of sorts they can't function to care for their own children if nanny takes a day/time off. I've seen mom's brush off their kids with the "spatula" move and refer their emotionally needy kids to the nanny for care as mom is too busy being a show piece, uber career woman or too wrapped up in her own drama to be there for her child.
Despite being an easy piece of humor, this is also social commentary beneath the surface. Look a bit deeper and you'll see the book is an indictment of the truly rich and shameless who have made a cult of this style of child rearing. Fleshed out is their sense of entitlement (the air they breathe is definitely better than yours), the demeaning way they treat those around them they don't consider equals, the falseness of the lifestyle, the pretense, how child rearing is more about programming than hands on nurturing, that marriages are more about what you have, appearance and status, rather than a relationship.
Again, not because I sought it out or subscribe to it (quite the opposite), but by default, I have some of these pedigree folks living around me, and I've seen it all first hand, and I just can't help shake my head. This book put all my thoughts into words, even though I've never been a nanny, but have observed what nannies working for these folks endure. My kids have, for the first time in their lives, no one to play with this summer in our new neighborhood (camp "mom" is in session and part of the reason I've been noticeably absent on line), as kids are sent to $5 to 10K per child (and most people here have more than one child) summer camps from 8am - 6pm, even if mom has a nanny, a housekeeper and doesn't work. If they aren't quite that affluent, there is the town summer camp where the rest of the kids are warehoused. (I am not against summer camp, but there is a difference between giving your kids a camping experience and something to do and getting rid of them so you can shop, lunch and go to the spa, without a hassle.) People complain about the behavior of kids in the ''hood", but I have seen pretty awful behavior (drugs, vandalism, recklessness, crime) coming from the over privileged set too, it just gets swept under the rug better, even if it's less prevalent then in impoverished communities. Whenever you take the "parent" out of "parenting" the result is the same, even if the trappings are different. Unfortunately, the truths in this book hit all too close to home. It was still a fun read, but it is a truthful insight into life in upscale locations around the country and shouldn't be written off as exaggeration for the sake of humor. None the less, a fun read and recommended book.
I loved the way the book was written, it was just the lightening fast summer read I was looking for. On the surface, the book reads superficial and funny. If one really looks, there are a lot of deeper truths here.
For better or worse, I live in a neighborhood where having a nanny (even if it's part time) is pretty much standard issue (I don't have one, never have, never will as I am neither that affluent nor do I care to have someone else parent my children, but don't "judge" everyone who does, as some people legitimately need the help and are not completely "hands off"). Although none of my neighbors rival the wealth, "status" or snoot factor of Mrs. X, many certainly have parents that have "arrived" and they are on their way "up" the ladder too. I've seen the Mrs. X mentality first hand. I've seen children call their mom's the names of their nannies, or mom's being so out of sorts they can't function to care for their own children if nanny takes a day/time off. I've seen mom's brush off their kids with the "spatula" move and refer their emotionally needy kids to the nanny for care as mom is too busy being a show piece, uber career woman or too wrapped up in her own drama to be there for her child.
Despite being an easy piece of humor, this is also social commentary beneath the surface. Look a bit deeper and you'll see the book is an indictment of the truly rich and shameless who have made a cult of this style of child rearing. Fleshed out is their sense of entitlement (the air they breathe is definitely better than yours), the demeaning way they treat those around them they don't consider equals, the falseness of the lifestyle, the pretense, how child rearing is more about programming than hands on nurturing, that marriages are more about what you have, appearance and status, rather than a relationship.
Again, not because I sought it out or subscribe to it (quite the opposite), but by default, I have some of these pedigree folks living around me, and I've seen it all first hand, and I just can't help shake my head. This book put all my thoughts into words, even though I've never been a nanny, but have observed what nannies working for these folks endure. My kids have, for the first time in their lives, no one to play with this summer in our new neighborhood (camp "mom" is in session and part of the reason I've been noticeably absent on line), as kids are sent to $5 to 10K per child (and most people here have more than one child) summer camps from 8am - 6pm, even if mom has a nanny, a housekeeper and doesn't work. If they aren't quite that affluent, there is the town summer camp where the rest of the kids are warehoused. (I am not against summer camp, but there is a difference between giving your kids a camping experience and something to do and getting rid of them so you can shop, lunch and go to the spa, without a hassle.) People complain about the behavior of kids in the ''hood", but I have seen pretty awful behavior (drugs, vandalism, recklessness, crime) coming from the over privileged set too, it just gets swept under the rug better, even if it's less prevalent then in impoverished communities. Whenever you take the "parent" out of "parenting" the result is the same, even if the trappings are different. Unfortunately, the truths in this book hit all too close to home. It was still a fun read, but it is a truthful insight into life in upscale locations around the country and shouldn't be written off as exaggeration for the sake of humor. None the less, a fun read and recommended book.
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